Posted by: rhenderson8110 | April 23, 2015

The Momma God Made Me To Be

So I’m almost 7 months into this Momma role and I’m learning so much. I’ve learned how to rock a baby to sleep, maneuver a sleeping baby out of a car seat, and I’ve tackled cloth diapering! I’ve learned to never lay the baby down before burping her, lest, she wake up in 10 minutes in a rather grizzly mood. I’ve learned how to make baby food and rice cereal at home. And from across the room I can predict when some unsuspecting person is about to get spit up on by my beautiful daughter. It’s all so new but I am just now starting to feel like I’m getting the hang of this.

I think a big part of my adjustment to motherhood has been figuring out what kind of Momma I am. There are those Moms who sleep train from day one (and typically enjoy great sleep thereafter!). There are the baby food makers or the yogurt makers. There are the no pacifier Mommas. Some teach sign language to their babies. And there are the super fit ones who prioritize exercising and don’t look like they’ve ever had a baby, much less 6 months ago! And there I was, still fumbling with the car seat (I will never understand how to put the base in- I swear it’s unlearnable.) and napping at all hours of the day. For me, it was so overwhelming to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. Not for lack of options but for too many options! At first I felt bad if I ‘gave in’ and let Olivia nap with me or brought her back into bed with me when I was too tired to drag myself back to her room. And I felt bad for using disposables when I had perfectly good cloth diapers there. And I felt bad that she went to bed when I did at 10:00pm in those early months. And I felt not just bad but inadequate and uneasy- like I could be ‘found out’ at any moment for being the clueless, unproductive, inconsistent Mom that I was.

And then somehow these past 6 1/2 months have come and gone. I’ve gotten so much more comfortable in my skin. I’m starting to sink into this new role and with the time has come confidence! Confession- I let Olivia use a pacifier; I’d let her use 4 if it would help her (and us) get a few hours of sleep! That is not a hill I am choosing to die on. Also, Hi I’m Rachel and I am not a yogurt maker. When Olivia eats yogurt it will be store bought. Gasp! In addition, even though Olivia sleeps in her room mostly now, I love bringing her in at around 5 in the morning to snuggle the rest of the morning out. I don’t care if that could confuse her or if others think I’m going to suffocate her- it works for us, for now. And really that’s all that matters. As Mommas we have to figure out what works for us, for now… and then do it. Without the guilt. Without the worry of not being good enough. Because here’s the thing- God gave Olivia to us and He made me her Momma. He trusted me with her. If He trusts me then I should trust me! (And you should trust you!)

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So that’s what I’m learning these days- to figure out what God is calling this Momma to do. I’m also sorting through what He is not calling me to and deciding to let those things go. I am a child of God. I am a Momma. I am not Superwoman! I’m starting to figure out that busyness is not productivity if it isn’t what God is asking of me. There are going to be things I am good at and things I am terrible at (read- training Olivia to be on a regular schedule for anything). And that really is okay! I choose to spend my time doing the things God is calling me to and most importantly, snuggling and loving the cheeks off of my beautiful daughter!

There is such a peace when you let go of what you ‘should’ be doing and simply ask God what He wants you to be doing. I bet it’s ‘less’ than you thought. I bet you (like me) put way more on your shoulders than God is actually asking of you. So, ask Him! Let Him move your heart towards those things that are most important. And then savor it; soak in being right there, doing only what God gifted you to do. Nothing more and nothing less.

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Responses

  1. Love this!:)

    • Thanks Mariah! Can’t wait to see you in mid-May”


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