Posted by: rhenderson8110 | April 4, 2013

Creating an Atmosphere of Affirmation

To continue the ‘What I Have Learned in Marriage Series…’

Create an atmosphere of affirmation in your home. We are called to be homemakers, and that means more than cooking & cleaning! It means creating a place that your husband wants to come home to! Whether it is dinner on the table, a pie in the oven, an extra load of laundry, music in the background, candles lit, a loving word  or a running ‘welcome home’ hug it is ALL part of creating a home! (And it is ALL important!)

Things you can do to create an atmosphere of affirmation in your home:

1. Greet him at the door when you can. He loves that you can’t wait to see him. He works hard all day and it is so important to be greeted! He may not be appreciated at work, but he should always be appreciated at home.
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2. Say thank you- for small gifts if that is what he can afford, for thoughtful notes, for getting up each day and working hard, for embracing the leadership role of a husband, for protecting you and making you feel safe, for going out into a big, tough, fast moving world just to make your life together work.

3. Tell him how proud you are of him on a regular basis. When you think about something that you respect or love about your husband, write it down and then remember to tell him later. I am overflowing with praise for my husband but so many times he never knows because I fail to verbalize it!

4. Remind him of how handsome he is- men need this affirmation too!

5. Learn his love language and then learn to speak it fluently! We all must love our husbands in the way that they need to be loved, not in our way. Alex & I learned this in a somewhat humorous way. One day while we were dating I came back from college and had something extremely important to discuss with him. We went up to my room, he sat down with his back against my bed and I sat down across the room from him with my back against the wall so we could face each other. Keep in mind that one of my love languages is quality time. Quality time for me means deep, meaningful, conversation full of connections and eye contact- hence, my sitting across from him so we could really ‘communicate.’ Meanwhile, one of Alex’s love languages is physical touch. Therefore, he interpreted my seating choice as though I was holding back or putting a wall up between us. I tried to tell him this important thing and I kept feeling this weird tension! I finally stopped and said, ‘What is wrong? I feel like you’re upset with me or something!’ To which he replied, ‘That’s what I’m trying to figure out! What did I do to make you not want to sit next to me!’ Simple miscommunication due to different love languages! I needed him to look into my eyes and understand what I was saying and he just wanted to hold me to make it better! Both legitimate, but not helpful if not understood. Needless to say, we compromise now and sometimes at dinner we sit across and sometimes we sit next to each other! 

By the way you can buy the 5 Love Languages book on Amazon for really cheap here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1365005781&sr=8-1&keywords=love+languages
It’s totally worth the $8.82!!

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