Posted by: rhenderson8110 | March 30, 2013

Marriage- A Tool for Holiness… and then Happiness!

On our 1 year anniversary I put together a list of those lessons I had learned in 1 year of marriage. Since then I have been adding to it and thought I’d begin to share some of my thoughts here, with you! Here is the first one:
Be prepared to learn more about your own weaknesses than you ever could before. There is something about living with someone that enables you to see many of your own quirks & character flaws much more clearly! Marriage has a funny way of pointing out your flaws and then handing you someone who is willing to hold your hand as you venture out to fix them.

I believe that God created marriage to be a battlefield. We are not to fight each other of course- rather this is a battlefield where we can challenge each other to struggle, overcome and eventually develop that Christ-like character we call ‘righteousness.’ In a book entitled, ‘Sacred Marriage,’ it asks the reader to ask themselves: ‘What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?’ I believe that God fashioned marriage in a way that would make us grapple with our own weaknesses and those of our spouse and thereby grow in wisdom, love and selflessness. He also set laws in motion so that when we do this, constantly sharpening each other, we are truly happy! ‘Iron sharpening iron’ should be as true in the marriage setting as any other. So, how can we use marriage as a tool to sharpen ourselves? Let’s see…rbk-marriage-tips-1112-8-lgn

1. Look for the lesson. God commands us to teach our children as we walk by the way, as we rise up and as we lie down… don’t you think He is doing the very same thing with us, His children?! God’s lessons for us are everywhere; often times we miss them because we are simply moving too fast. I am a list maker and all list makers will identify with that feeling of satisfaction as we check things off. Take it from me: do not get so wrapped up in checking things off your list that you don’t learn any of the lessons along the way!

2. Remember that He will never forsake you. As you plunge into this scary, intimidating, overwhelming process of self-examination remember that we are all a work in progress! Don’t be so hard on yourself. God loves you and created you with all your weaknesses; He is the author and finisher of our faith! I commented to my husband that my first Passover after getting married was the most depressing and the most uplifting. I can begin to see myself as I really am, which is humbling but ultimately rewarding as hopefully we can work together to root out that carnal human nature!

3. Talk about it. Sometimes the best way to not solve an issue is to not identify it. When my husband started writing sermonettes and he said the most difficult part was coming up with the SPS or specific purpose statement. It’s difficult because while you may have an idea of what you want to talk about an SPS forces you to truly drill down into the heart of your message. I would encourage you to spend some time generating an SPS for a weakness you see in your life. If we can’t really identify the core of the issue, how can we begin to take steps to correct it? In one sentence, can you describe the core of the sin that you are struggling with today? Talk about these things with your spouse, often they will have insights that you won’t.

Holiness and happiness

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